Snakes on a Plane (Rant Included)

[The Fallen Evincar]

See it?
I saw the premiere at 11:55...I kind of wish I'd been under the influence of some chemical or something, that's the only way I'd laugh.


Something about Snakes on a Plane really got on my nerves. The ****ing joke, the internet meme, was funny like six months ago. Now it's just ****ing ANNOYING hearing a crowd full of twenty-somethings giggling their ass off because Samuel L. Jackson said "MOTHER****ING". These are the same people who'd recite Chappelle Show jokes until they were passe. If someone had gone "I'M RICK JAMES BITCH" I wouldn't have been surprised. Posers...

So what, are we going to get a Zizou headbutt movie now or something? ****...
Hell, let's just make a YTMND movie...

I saw the premiere too, so people were applauding dozens of times throughout the movie and laughing their asses off...
And I couldn't help but think, "They're only laughing because they think they're supposed to. They don't really know what they find funny about Samuel L. Jackson...They're just laughing because they were told this was funny and self-aware..."
But you know what? If they hadn't been told that, the film wouldn't be any less ridiculous than the many action films that they ingest week after week, you certainly don't hear them laughing during those.
Is it any worse than say, Flightplan? **** no...They only took it as humorous because they were instructed to, a good way to shield a ****ty movie intended initially as a horror film is, I guess, to cover it in a self-aware absurdist irony I guess...


What a waste of nine dollars and nearly two hours of my life. **** Snakes on a Plane, Snakes on a Plane is what's wrong with America.
I was expecting a Chuck Norris cameo and the entire audience going, "LOLZ CHUCK NORRIS DATZ FUNNY". This is the MySpace Generation. God****ingdammit. :p


But maybe the audience infuriated me into criticizing Snakes on a Plane a bit much. If the tickets had been free and if I had been stoned, sure, it would've been a memorable experience, I guess.
But the tickets weren't free, I was sober, and I was surrounded by imbeciles laughing their asses off everytime Samuel L. Jackson moved a goddamn finger.

[Nai]

As far as I remember, Snakes on a Plane was supposed to be to action movies what Spaceballs was to the science fiction genre. A completely **** up to show people exactly what a bad movie is supposed to be. From what I recall hearing, it wasn't supposed to be good. It was supposed to be BAD. But bad enough to be amusing to watch.

[The Fallen Evincar]

As far as I remember, Snakes on a Plane was supposed to be to action movies what Spaceballs was to the science fiction genre. A completely **** up to show people exactly what a bad movie is supposed to be. From what I recall hearing, it wasn't supposed to be good. It was supposed to be BAD. But bad enough to be amusing to watch.
But it really wasn't...I mean, Spaceballs is a complete parody full of great jokes...
Snakes on a Plane is supposedly self-aware, but it doesn't have any really funny moments...It's just a bad action movie.
Spaceballs was a sci-fi comedy parody...Snakes on a Plane is just a bad action movie carried by a passe internet meme...*shrug*
If they had wanted it like that then they should've done more absurd things...It wasn't absurd or funny enough to really be enjoyable, unless one is under heavy chemical influence.

One's better off just getting stoned and seeing Ichi the Killer. :rolleyes:


They could've at least put a twist in...M. Night style...SAMUEL L. JACKSON IS A SNAKE! :eek:

[Dragon of the Pants]

I'm still interested in seeing it. I don't know if I'll laugh, but I still think it's going to be cool.

[Nova]

I saw it last night too and I disagree with you on absolutely every point. I appreciate good, intelligent cinema as well, but this movie fulfills my "completely ridiculous" requirement with flying colors. It has the same basic appeal to me that the Final Destination movies and any zombie movie ever made do: they're not scary or suspenseful at all, and are so absolutely retarded they're hilarious.

Is it immature? Definitely, but why is that always a bad thing?

I loved it, haven't laughed that hard since Anchorman. It lived up, nay, it SURPASSED my incredibly high expectations for hilarious stupidity.

[CorporateNoun]

Holy ****, this movie's supposed to be funny? I thought it was just gonna be Sam smacking the bitch out of a bunch of snakes, and billed as a horror film...

If I saw the movie with that in mind, I'd probably agree with you, TFE.

I'm still not going to see it.

[Cool Hand Luke]

But maybe the audience infuriated me into criticizing Snakes on a Plane a bit much. If the tickets had been free and if I had been stoned, sure, it would've been a memorable experience, I guess.Really?! To this day I cannot recount any p[l]ot element of any Cheech and Chong movie.

*ahem* But I'm with the others. I thought it was supposed to be lame. I mean...the title!

[The Fallen Evincar]

Really?! To this day I cannot recount any p[l]ot element of any Cheech and Chong movie.

*ahem* But I'm with the others. I thought it was supposed to be lame. I mean...the title!
Ah, but of course, I never mentioned movies about LaffyTaffy...Movies about LaffyTaffy are never good LaffyTaffyer movies. I prefer sophisticated Japanese skull****ery along the lines of Takashi Miike. ;)

Of course all mentions of drugs in this post have been replaced with LaffyTaffy. ;)


As for it being lame, frankly it wasn't lame enough.
I tell you what, if it had been a serious film called "Venom", all that would've happened is that people would've given it a modest box office win on a slow week in the theaters and it'd be critically panned. Hell, taken seriously it couldn't be worse than Flightplan.
It was no way absurdist or tongue-in-cheek enough...Campy, maybe...But it still sucked for nine bucks. If audiences hadn't been told to find it funny most wouldn't have...:!para:

[sniper]

I'm suprised anyone actually paid money to watch that movie. The title itself is a giveaway that the movie would be a dud.

"Snakes are scary, so let's make a movie about it 'em."

"Yea, and let's put 'em on a plane so the people can't escape them."

"And let's call the movie "Snakes on a Plane" because the snakes are on a plane."

"And how about we get a washed up actor because they're affordable and it will make this movie appear to have more credibility than it actually does?"

Wake me up when Fearless and Sin City 2 come out.

Woohoo, my first post in 2 years!

[The Fallen Evincar]

I'm suprised anyone actually paid money to watch that movie. The title itself is a giveaway that the movie would be a dud.

"Snakes are scary, so let's make a movie about it 'em."

"Yea, and let's put 'em on a plane so the people can't escape them."

"And let's call the movie "Snakes on a Plane" because the snakes are on a plane."

"And how about we get a washed up actor because they're affordable and it will make this movie appear to have more credibility than it actually does?"

Wake me up when Fearless and Sin City 2 come out.

Woohoo, my first post in 2 years!
Hmmm, no, you miss the point, that might've been the original plan...

But the second and even lamer plan was:

"Hahaha, let's use the passe internet joke to get a bunch of retarded youngsters to latch onto this movie because it's supposedly 'self-aware' and something called 'funny'. We'll stick in Samuel L. Jackson saying 'mother****ing'! The Chappelle's Show generation will piss their pants!"

Blah

[Sleeper Agent]

I saw it.

I laughed. A lot.

Yeah, I was a little drunk and a little high, but so what? That's how I go to just about every movie, even "serious" ones. This was way more fun than, say, Miami Vice.

In my opinion, the movie had an excellent mix of "so bad its awesome", "decent action/disaster movie", and "holy crap did a snake really just bite that [body part]" to be perfectly satisfying. Sam Jackson was (obviously) great in the role. And I wouldn't exactly call him a washed-up actor, either.

And yeah, I DO laugh at many action films. This one is very much like them, where you find yourself laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Only this particular situation involved sam jackson, snakes, and a plane, which is waaaaay better than what most action movies can cook up. One quibble with the movie might be that some of the snakes look particularly computer-generated at certain points...but it was fun laughing "fake!" at those points, and it also settled me down a little because to be honest, death by snake is pretty scary and there are some nasty deaths here.

If you know what you are getting into, and don't set your expectations too high, I think you will have quite an enjoyable time. Oh yeah, and you should probably drink a little first...but isn't that true for everything? (UNLESS YOU AREN'T 21, IN WHICH CASE SHAME ON YOU.)

It's kind of like, yeah, you can think you're real cool and hate on the movie, that's fine. But why not just have fun instead? If you really sincerely didn't like it, sorry but that just sucks for you I guess. This movie was a **** ton better than the da vinci code, pirates 2, and the last 7 ben stiller movies. And anything by kevin smith.

I think critics who are bashing the movie are just trying to be cool. They should try harder.

[The Fallen Evincar]

It's kind of like, yeah, you can think you're real cool and hate on the movie, that's fine. But why not just have fun instead? If you really sincerely didn't like it, sorry but that just sucks for you I guess. This movie was a **** ton better than the da vinci code, pirates 2, and the last 7 ben stiller movies. And anything by kevin smith.

I think critics who are bashing the movie are just trying to be cool. They should try harder.

Actually it's way "cooler" to just be a trendwhore and give in to the lameness of Snakes on a Plane. :p

Honestly, you can "let go", but if I wanted to let go and see a campy movie I'd find something Japanese or watch any movie on the Sci-Fi channel, not pay ten bucks for an internet meme-fueled pile of "lolz".

[Cool Hand Luke]

Um. I don't think film critics are paid to be cool. They might bash films to feel smug, but panning movies will rarely make one cool--especially considering how many terrible movies are consumed by young people.

[Xenphire]

I honestly don't know how anyone could expect Snakes On A Plane to be anything BUT bad... and thats it.. Just... bad.

At least the name is funny...

[Sleeper Agent]

Oh did I say critics? I meant people.
It isn't being a trendwhore if you geniuinely enjoy whatever the "trend" is. Or am I not allowed to like something anymore simply because it happens to be "hip" too? **** that! That is exactly the kind of knee-jerk counter-culture-hipster-whatever that I hate. When I take a step back, it looks like the "let's jump on this bandwagon and love it!" people are about as goofy as the "OMG those people think they're so cool but they're really just posers" people. Why can't we all just listen to "snap yo fingaz" and enjoy it?
And don't play like you didn't want to hump this trend anyway...or did you just see it premiere at 11:55 so you could get a jump on bashing it? ;)

And yeah I like watching movies on tv....but there's something fun about getting together with a group of friends and going out too. And if you're going to go that route, then snakes on a plane is a fine choice in my opinion. I'd even consider paying to see it twice, something I rarely (if ever) do.

If you don't like it, that's fine (you probably wouldn't enjoy Last Action Hero, the rundown, or mortal kombat either). But there's a difference between bashing the movie and bashing people who like the movie because you think they only like it because it is hip or something.

That said, I probably won't be getting a "snakes on a plane" t-shirt now, because everyone will just think I'm a douche. (And I kind of would be.)

[The Fallen Evincar]

And don't play like you didn't want to hump this trend anyway...or did you just see it premiere at 11:55 so you could get a jump on bashing it? ;)
Nice try, but I saw it because my friends wanted to. *shrug* It wasn't a horrible experience, but it wasn't really that great.
I consider myself a film buff, and I like criticizing films, but I never go out of my way to find a bad movie to criticize. With the state of film these days they sort of fall into my lap. :!para:



If you don't like it, that's fine (you probably wouldn't enjoy Last Action Hero, the rundown, or mortal kombat either). But there's a difference between bashing the movie and bashing people who like the movie because you think they only like it because it is hip or something.

That said, I probably won't be getting a "snakes on a plane" t-shirt now, because everyone will just think I'm a douche. (And I kind of would be.)
Well, maybe you're an exception, but from what I saw, people only really laughed because they thought they were supposed to..."Oh wait, though this isn't really anymore campy or humorous than the supposedly serious mediocre action films we devour every week, since we were told it's tongue-in-cheek, this is really hilarious. Lol, he said mother****ing...lol..." :!para:


Oh well, like I said, I probably over-criticized the film because the audience was so annoying and retarded. :p
Same thing happened when I saw Scary Movie 4 and everytime they like, mentioned Michael Jackson, or like said his name the entire audience would go, "OMG AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL JACKSON DEY SAID MICHAEL JACKSON AHAHAHAHAHA"
*shrug*

[Salubrious]

...

<.<

...

>.>


I liked Snakes on a Plane. :cry:

Despite the massive hype, SoaP lived up to and surpassed my expectations by a actually being a decent movie. As for the rowdy crowd... well, that was half the fun. :D

And now, I depart! *whoosh*

[Blue Mage]

I remember the first time I heard Samuel L. Jackson swear his head off, Pulp Fiction, I laughed in about every scene he was in. Something about his delivery, and charisma is hilarious to me. I actually found out about the movie from magazines and TV. I didn't even know about the trailer and buzz online until a month or so before the release.

And I saw Snakes on a Plane Thursday night, and it was great.

You know what made it funny? Samuel L. Jackson. The sheer hilarity of the death scenes: When the couple went and signed up for a 'Mile High Membership' and the snake latched onto the women's breast. OMFG. And in the next seen when the 20something guy takes a piss on a snakes sliding around in the airplane toiler and jumps out, bites his dick and he's trying to rip it off? Leaping lizards Batman, we have a hit!

How can you bash the movie, it was already making fun of itself and the horror/action genres. I hope they make more movies like this, I doubt they could have another original title that becomes as buzz-worthy but less hack and slash and more flying, death snakes for me.

TWO THUMBS, WAY UP!

[The Fallen Evincar]

How can you bash the movie, it was already making fun of itself and the horror/action genres. I hope they make more movies like this, I doubt they could have another original title that becomes as buzz-worthy but less hack and slash and more flying, death snakes for me.

TWO THUMBS, WAY UP!
Because "bashing itself" is really just a copout...I didn't find it funny at all, and it wasn't really anymore out-there than any other generic action movie or creature feature. All they did is go, "BTW WE'RE TONGUE IN CHEEK, LOL ;)". And everyone giggled their asses off. :!para:
Maybe my problem was that it wasn't really over-the-top or funny enough. If you're going to go bash yourself and give wink or tongue-in-cheek, I wanna see way more retardedness to the point of a real parody like Airplane. :slant:



Why can't we all just listen to "snap yo fingaz" and enjoy it?


Ohhhhh, no you ****ing didn't dun. :slant:
"Snap Your Fingers" cannot be enjoyed because it is a horrible song.
All rappers involved, even the usually creative E-40, drop horrible verses. And the Lil Jon beat is the most generic worn beat ever used in history, along with the generic worn chorus. I have no problem with "fun" or "crunk" songs, where we can all listen to it and party, like "Tell Me When To Go", or a Lil Jon song like "Shorty Wanna Ride"...But "Snap Your Fingers" is intensely, intensely retarded. XD

[Dragon of the Pants]

Well I watched it tonight and I loved it. Then again, I like most movies, and I just enjoy the whole theatre experience. Either way, two thumbs up from me.

[Bacchus Dukakis]

Waste the price of a movie ticket to see something awful. Waste time ripping on the movie... on the internet... Waste more time defending your position on said internet diss. Doing nothing is better than all of the above. I'll wait for DVD or PPV on this one. Might like it, might not. But if you go to a movie sober when you're accustomed to not, then you reap what you sow.

[The Fallen Evincar]

Waste the price of a movie ticket to see something awful. Waste time ripping on the movie... on the internet... Waste more time defending your position on said internet diss. Doing nothing is better than all of the above. I'll wait for DVD or PPV on this one. Might like it, might not. But if you go to a movie sober when you're accustomed to not, then you reap what you sow.
Actually, not exactly. *shrug* The movie cost about two hours and ten dollars. Ripping on it on the internet only takes a few minutes. :p
Though if you're arguing that, remember it's also a "waste of time" to contemplate what a waste of time all those things are and post about it. :p That's why the whole Big Picture thing on the net is the lamest thing to do. :p

And nice attempt at a jab, but I said it's the type of film that'd be good while stoned, not that I'm usually under the influence of something when I see a film. :!para: I see a hell of a lot of films. :p

[Forgotten One]

I agree that Snakes on a Plane has probably reached a new low for Hollywood, but if they realize thair target audience just eats this **** up then I expect nothing less. I'll just choose to spend my $10 on something more worthwhile.


I wanna see way more retardedness to the point of a real parody like Airplane. :slant:

Unfortunately, due to the wonderful institution of Political Correctness, we will never again be able to have a movie like Airplane, Blazing Saddles, or Caddyshack. Now those were funny....

[The Fallen Evincar]

Unfortunately, due to the wonderful institution of Political Correctness, we will never again be able to have a movie like Airplane, Blazing Saddles, or Caddyshack. Now those were funny....
True, true...But we still have Scary Movie, right? :slant:
I mean, the first one was amusing to me when I was like 12 back then...And it didn't seem to care about being politically correct.*shrug* Though the second one sucked...
But three and four were directed by Airplane director David Zucker. :p But I get what you're saying, nothing of that level, just lameness fueled by internet memes. *shrug*

[Dragon of the Pants]

*shrugs* It was worth the $7.95 I paid. ($7.95 Canadian!:p)

[Cool Hand Luke]

7.95 Canadian!? Was this an evening show? If so, that's less than we pay.

[Dragon of the Pants]

Yup. 7.95 any age any show any time.:p

[_Jack_]

Yup. 7.95 any age any show any time.:p

OMGZ, I'M GOIN' TO CANADA!! :D

But seriously, it looked like a horrible movie, and I'll take TFE's word for it. I just had to hear the title of it, and I was like, "...Who's up for checkers?"